Monday, September 12, 2011

10 years ago. Yesterday. Today.

10 years ago yesterday. I remember the morning like it really was yesterday. Miss O was 10 months old. I had been fortunate to be able to go back to work part time after having her. Back to my previous job. At Charles Schwab. Two blocks away from the Pacific Stock Exchange in San Francisco. We got up early in the usual blur, got ready and headed out the door. Listened to some kids songs in the car and upon arrival at my moms, learned about the first plane. At that time, no one was really sure what was happening. I don't think at that time, anyone had a clue what was to come. I hopped back in the car with a bit of trepidation and jumped on the train to financial district in San Francisco. This is where the depth of the situation came to light. Once the second plane hit, people on the train started talking. Brian called me and told me to get off the train NOW. Turn around. Get home. There was still another plane in the air and they thought it was coming to the West Coast - if they were looking for another financial hub, the Pac Exchange was it. Two blocks away from my office. By this time, I was through the tunnel and at my stop, so I got off and for some reason went upstairs and out on to the street. I don't think I really got it. I thought I should just check in with work.....hello?? Right? By the time I hit the street, the flood of people coming towards me made me realize this was not the place to be. It really was serious. Everyone was heading home. It was clear I should do the same. Now it was sinking in and I could not get out of there fast enough. That train could not possibly go fast enough. 45 minutes later I was back at my mom's house, watching in horror as the day unfolded. As the days unfolded. The weeks, the months nd the years. Today, 10 years ago, we woke up to a changed world.
Brian and I have watched a few of the specials over the last week or two and I am amazed at how haunted I still am by seeing all those papers flying around as the towers fell. The financial world was still very paper driven at that time and I just knew that was some of our paperwork. Those were some of our friends, our co-workers. It's amazing that even now, 10 years later just a glimpse of those towers falling instantly brings tears to my eyes. Yesterday I tried to watch the tribute but I just couldn't do it. I lasted about 5 minutes and could no longer stand watching moms call out their children's names, sons call out their dad's names, husbands their wives, wives their husbands, nephews, sisters, brothers It was just. too. sad. So many children have grown up without their parents. And add to that all of our service men and women that have been lost in the past 10 years just adds to the tragedy. Instead, I spent the day hanging out with the girls, being thankful that we have them and that they have us. {I wanted to blog this yesterday but just couldn't do it. I really didn't want to send myself into a rut.  So I hung with the girls and I sewed.... I needed to put a little joy in the world. And today, the day seems much clearer.}
Happy September 12th.
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